You know what’s annoying? When movies are all built upon some complicated premise that would be completely unhinged if a single character had a cellphone. I mean, come on, it’s 2008. Everyone has cellphones and nobody gets lost. Luckily, our friends over at CollegeHumor decided to show us just how short many movies would be if their main characters had cellphones, and it’s awesome. Check it out after the jump.

[CollegeHumor]

The first Android phone is dropping next week, and the people who pick it up will be toting around mobile Google software in their pocket wherever they go. They’ll be using mobile Google apps, probably in concert with using Gmail, Gcal and Google Maps on their normal computer. We know that Google is tossing out all user data after 9 months, but you’ve got to wonder what kind of a picture Google is getting of its heavy users like that when it’s only getting info from how its apps are used. After the jump, an imagined day in the life of a Google user, as recorded and perceived by the Googleplex itself.

07:36:04: Application — Gmail
User reads 1 new emails
Keywords: dinner, match.com, reply, date

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male/Female

07:43:38: Application — Search
Search Term: italian restaurant upper east side manhattan
Search Term: italian restaurant upper east side manhattan cheap
Search Term: creampies

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker

08:31:17: Application — Gmail
User sends 1 new email
Keywords: dinner, meet, Ford Fiesta

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income

08:40:03: Application — Search
Search Term: vern troyer sex tape

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist

11:01:12: Application — Google Reader
Feed read: Gizmodo
Feed read: Kotaku
Feed read: Cute Overload
Feed read: Gothamist
Feed read: Gizmodo
Feed read: Kottke
Feed read: Boing Boing
Feed read: Fleshbot

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller

12:14:30: Application — Google Maps Mobile
Search Term: SuperCuts
Near: Current Location

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate

12:59:08: Application — Mobile Search
Search Term: slimming pants

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure

13:01:56: Application — Google Maps Mobile
Search Term: H&M
Near: Current Location

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy

13:42:12: Application — Google Maps Mobile
Search Term: Florist
Near: Current Location

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy, Unimaginative

14:19:31: Application — Search
Search Term: dating tips
Search Term: first dates
Search Term: halitosis cure
Search Term: bang bus

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy, Unimaginative, Virgin

14:55:00: Application — GCal
Reminder: Sales Meeting in Five Minutes Sent via: Text

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy, Unimaginative, Virgin, Boring Job Holder

17:13:49: Application — Google Reader
Feed read: Gizmodo
Feed read: Fleshbot

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy, Unimaginative, Virgin, Boring Job Holder, Porn Addict

18:51:10: Application — Google Maps Mobile
Start Location: Current Location
End Location: Olive Garden

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy, Unimaginative, Virgin, Boring Job Holder, Porn Addict, Fat, Not Italian

19:15:03: Application — Mobile Gmail
User sends 1 new email
Keywords: date, forgot, still here

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy, Unimaginative, Virgin, Boring Job Holder, Porn Addict, Fat, Not Italian, Pathetic

19:20:41: Application — Mobile Gmail
User reads 0 new emails

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy, Unimaginative, Virgin, Porn Addict, Fat, Not Italian, So Pathetic

19:26:11: Application — Mobile Gmail
User reads 0 new emails

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy, Unimaginative, Virgin, Porn Addict, Fat, Not Italian, So Pathetic, Desperate

19:31:55: Application — Mobile Gmail
User reads 0 new emails

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy, Unimaginative, Virgin, Porn Addict, Fat, Not Italian, So Pathetic, So Desperate

19:40:21: Application — Google Maps Mobile
Search Term: Strip Club
Near: Current Location

Current Demographic Profile: Benny Goldman

Kudos to AT&T. They've assembled a very useful FAQ page and cut several videos to lay out all the necessities of picking up an iPhone 3G. It includes topics like what you should have on hand if you're transferring a phone number from another carrier (bring you current wireless bill, they suggest, along with your old account PIN or passwords), the costs of various plans (they start at $69, but expect to be jacked for text messaging), the unsubsidized price of an iPhone ($399 for 8GB, $499 for 16GB), and the unlocked, unsubsidized price of the iPhone ($599 for 8GB, $699 for16GB). So hit the links if ever wondered if hair will start growing in funny places once you buy your new iPhone (which it will). [iPhone FAQ and Helpful Videos]

For a shortcut to plan pricing, read on:

As for the subsidized iPhone pricing, AT&T has clarified that it's available for "new customers, current postpaid iPhone customers in good standing prior to July 11, and AT&T non-iPhone customers who are currently eligible for an upgrade discount" with a two-year agreement.

The OrbLive streaming media app is for everyone who is sick of waiting for a Sling Mobile client on their iPhone. As you may (or may not) know, Orb pulls files off your PC and streams them to any device with an app or web browser capable of accessing the Orb interface. From there you can stream music, video files, and if you have a TV tuner card, live TV. While Orb was previously accessible via Safari, this new, official app is supposed to be an easier, more intuitive way to get your media on the go. It does require a jailbroken iPhone, however. Check out the video of the client in action. [Orb via Register Hardware]

A company called SIMable has produced a little chip that they call the "10-second solution" for unlocking carrier-tethered GSM handsets. The gimmick is that, instead of unlocking the phone itself—and risking invalidation of your warranty— the chip works on the SIM card, provided you punch a hole in the SIM.

Yes, I said “punch a hole.” The SIMable card lies flat against the SIM, and you first have to perform the following surgical procedure. At least the hole-puncher comes free with the £16.99 chip:

For certain 3G phones including the 8GB Nokia N95, Nokia E51, Sony Ericsson W200 and others to maintain “full 3G functionality,” you will have to make an addition cut to the card itself:It’s not clear if SIMable is shipping to the US, though there’s no reason to believe it wouldn’t work here. There’s also no mention of Apple’s iPhone on the site, although the Inquirer mentions it in the first paragraph of their own writeup. Hopefully SIMable is just getting around to that, after testing on 70 or so other, more popular phones.

Update: Corrections were made to the post following some clarifying comments (thanks!). As far as this being a copy of other products, that may very well be the case, although SIMable maintains that it is not:

NOTE – SIMable is not linked in any way to other similar products and enables full 3G functionality. We include a free customised cutting press ruling out any messing around with scissors.

[SIMable via The Inquirer]

The iShield Mirror is, at its core, a two-piece hardshell protective case for the iPhone. However, the manufacturer takes it a step further by adding a film to the surface that functions as a mirror when the phone is not in use. When activated, the film is transparent enough and thin enough to allow for normal usage.

If you’re into hard cases for your phone, I suppose that adding a gimmick like this can prove useful for the ladies (and the kind of dudes that wear sweaters around their necks), but it seems a bit unhealthy to me. iPhone and Touch versions are available for for $29.99. Hit iLounge for additional pics.[iShield Mirror via iLounge]

How dedicated are you to using a Bluetooth microphone with your phone? Are you dedicated enough to drill a small hole in your teeth to install a tiny mic? Well, if so, here’s one for you. Hit the jump for a picture of it in-mouth and a word of warning about DIY dentistry.

The durable composite resin filling is designed to fit in a hole 2.2mm in diameter and 1.7 mm deep and will pick up sound and vibrations from your mouth to produce incredibly clear sound.

I don’t know about you, but I think I’d rather stick with a regular Bluetooth headset, especially when this thing still requires you to wear something in your ear so you can hear what’s going on. But hey, it’s up to you. And as Chinavasion, the seller, reminds you, don’t go drilling holes in your teeth yourself. “All dental work should be performed by a qualified dentist, Chinavasion does not take responsibility for injury resulting from the installation of this product.” Yikes. [Product Page via Geek Alerts]

Mogo Wireless has announced a new cellular amplifier that helps users avoid bad signals and dropped calls in areas where service is lacking. The device promises a 10x signal boost using a device that can be plugged into a car power supply or into a laptop via USB. There is also an optional 12V to 110 adaptor accessory for home or office use.

Once plugged in, the mini-tower will instantly (and wirelessly) recognize your phone and begin working its magic without any further adjustment. Mogo is compatible with nearly all service providers as well as all Bluetooth devices and you can expect to see it on store shelves later this year for around $149. [Mogo Wireless via MobileWhack]

Helio is announcing Activesync support for the Ocean. The phone will then be able to sync calendars, email and contacts from an Exchange server. They’re also doing a file viewer app that will view PDF, Word, Powerpoint and Excel docs. $10 a month for Helions with All-In service plans.

HELIO LAUNCHES MAIL FOR MICROSOFT EXCHANGE

Wirelessly Sync Ocean with Microsoft® Office Outlook® Email, Calendar and Contacts

LOS ANGELES, CA – July 25, 2007 – Helio Ocean’s expansive messaging capabilities just got more versatile with the launch of Mail for Microsoft Exchange. Adding to Ocean’s already comprehensive messaging line-up including a single hub for all text messages, picture messages, Instant Messages and emails from the major portals and ISPs, Helio members can now mix business with pleasure through Mail for Microsoft Exchange. This new application lets users wirelessly synchronize Microsoft® Office Outlook® email, calendar and contacts from their companies’ Microsoft® Exchange Server so they can use Ocean to keep in touch with friends and family, as well as staying on top of business.
“Ocean has already made staying in touch with friends easier than ever with the ultimate messaging dashboard for all email, IM, picture and text messages, something nobody has ever done before,” said Doug Britt, Sr. Director of Content and Messaging Services at Helio. “Now we’re bringing the business user into the fold with the addition of corporate email, calendar and contacts, all from the same great messaging interface. Combined, this solidifies Ocean as an ideal device for keeping in touch with friends, family and business associates.”

Business + Pleasure
Mail for Microsoft Exchange is Helio’s new downloadable client that uses the Microsoft® Exchange ActiveSync® protocol to let users remotely synchronize and access business email, contacts and calendar data from their corporate Exchange Server. Ocean users can wirelessly download Mail for Microsoft Exchange to their device and after a brief set up, send and receive email, create and send calendar appointments and access corporate contact lists. Once Mail for Microsoft Exchange is downloaded, it is also easily accessible through Ocean’s messaging home screen aside the full suite of Ocean’s messaging capabilities.

Helio will also soon launch Helio File Viewer in conjunction with Mail for Microsoft Exchange. When available, Helio File Viewer will allow users to view documents including .doc, .ppt, .xls, and .pdf files.

If you’re a fan of Sony Ericsson’s P990 Symbian smartphone, you’ll definitely scream like a little girl when you hear about the newest P1 phone. Not only is it 25% smaller than the 990, it’s got a 3.2-megapixel camera, 512MB Memory Stick Micro slot, push email through BlackBerry Connect, Wi-Fi (802.11b), VoIP support, Symbian 9.1, 2.6-inch display, a quasi-QWERTY keyboard, Opera 8, Stereo Bluetooth A2DP, and 160MB of internal memory.

The most important surface change is probably the fact that it doesn't have the flip-open keyboard like the P990, but that's something you'll have to play with yourself to see if you prefer. Otherwise, it seems like Sony's got a great upgrade here with the P1. And yes, they've answered everyone's question about what they'd do when the numbers get to 999—wrap around again back to 1.

Bigger shots after the jump.

– Jason Chen

Press Release [Sony Ericsson]